Nothing good gets away

Back in 1958, John Steinbeck, author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his teenage son Thom, in which Thom confessed that he had fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan at his boarding school.


Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...



New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa




        Boy oh boy does that man have a way with words. I hear cheesy advice on love all the time (like 'love yourself first' and 'good relationships are hard work') but this is a far cry from that mushy inspirational shit you find on Pinterest. It amazes me at the level of wholehearted support, respect, and admiration Steinbeck has for his teenage son's supposed first love, certainly something you don't come by often in this generation. And with that mental state of complete equally, Steinbeck hacks it out- that undeniably true, hard to gulp, insane reality about love.  "There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had."  .....damn, Steinbeck.




Ps- Men take note: Steinbeck gave his son the best advice when he said 'Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also'. Redundancy isn't always a bad thing : )

(found on Cup of Jo via letters of note)

Cafe in Le Marais

 ( via the sartorialist)

         In Le Marais, Paris men have scruff, wear nice coats, and drink coffee that doesn't come in recycled paper cups. It should be like this everywhere....

Beatle lips

(via cup of jo)

          I want to hold your haa-aa-aa-aanmd!  Which Beatle would you lay a wet one on?? I think Ringo Starr has nice lips. Also, I feel as though he's the forgotten Beatle... which naturally makes me like him more. 

Side note: Eleanor Rigby is my favorite Beatles song!

Spectacular nose

    

     I must say, nerdboyfriend has had some great nerdy picks lately... I have a history for gushing about nerds- I even posted about Collin Firth, once. What can I say?? I have a certain admiration for slightly off kilter men. The nerdboyfriend blog features many fashionable men, but few embody what it really means to be a "nerd" in all the best ways.

     The first is Adrien Brody. I am crazy about Adrien Brody(especially in The Brothers Bloom- and don't even get me started on how smokin' Rachel Weisz is). A friend of mine is notorious for admiring eccentric noses. I have never really admired anybody's nose... until Adrien Brody. Not only does he have a spectacular nose, he seem effortlessly suave and charming but at the same time extremely quirky. It's almost an impossible combination.

     As embarrassing as is it to admit, and for reasons only God knows why, I have just recently watch for the first time The Graduate. (And, by the way, what they say IS true- it truly is a life changing movie.) And let me tell you, I was soo excited to see that Dustin Hoffman (circa The Graduate) had made it on nerdboyfriend! Yeah, his wardrobe was great (blah, blah), but he was an anxious, passionate, sweaty mess! What says nerd more than that?

Collin Firth

     It's been a long while since I've posted about nerdy guys- you know, those full-of-quirk and has-it-goin-wrong-in-all-the-right-ways kind of guys that we all secretly love? (Well, let's be honest, I'm not so secretive about it... but that's a different story.) Earlier this morning I was looking through the highly entertaining nerd boyfriend blog, and came across a post of Collin Firth- and let me tell you how ecstatic I was. I seem to have an uncanny admiration for him- it's odd, I know, but ask anyone... I swear. It might have something to do with his dreamy accent, hysterically dry sense of humor, classically plain wardrobe, or just general dapperness (I mean, have you seen The King's Speech or A Single Man?!?). Anyways, thumbs up to you, nerdboyfriend.com . And if I may, I'd like to suggest a gent for your next post- I'd die to see Matthew Macfadyen! ...circa Pride and Prejudice???

Colorful Sexism

(via Gold Rush)



Awesome.

The Handsome

(via oh,hello friend)

   Let's face it, like baking personalized cookies and ogling over the best seasonal crafts, blogging is mostly a girl thing. That's why I love The Handsome from oh, hello friend! It's a series that features the men behind the women who blog! It's fantastic -and I really like the name The Handsome too!

The Man Cave

(via art of manliness)

    

     Today, I came across a snapshot of Earnest Hemingway's writing studio, and it's brilliant!

     The Man Cave astounds me. We used to call them "studies", but the idea is still the same: a male sanctuary, where one could get away from the frou frou of life to be alone with their thoughts and ideas and bask in their sheer manliness.

     I’m not a man, but I really want one. I'm not talking about a transformed basements with vending machines and video games... A REAL man cave has loads of books, beautifully handcrafted tables, and perfectly placed taxidermy gazelle heads.

The revenge of the nerds

(via nerd boyfriend)

How can you NOT want one?!?! Com'on, addmit it, their quirkiness is cute. They are sesitive, smart, wear glasses, and usually have a (or many) awesome collections. Aaaaand, they clearly make the best dressed beau's. If you're not convinced then take a look at nerd boyfriend, a lovely blog that features iconic nerds and how they dressed!

And if you prefer the more tech savey geek, check out A Girls Guide to Geek Guys for their proper care amd feeding.

P.S. I was inclined to post a photo of my very own beau, but I new he would have freaked out by the idea that his identity was revealed... I know, what a dork, right?? He's the cutest!

Update: I now have permission to post pictures! So, here they are....