Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!

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(via tomboystyle

          Go ahead, ask me if I made a new year's resolution just like every other totally unoriginal human does on the first day of the year (you know, like when you go on first dates and to break the awkward silence he/she asks you questions like "What's your favorite band?" or "What do you like to do in your spare time?") The thing is, it was about ten seconds till the ball dropped when my sister and I started discussing what our resolutions should be. We were obviously a tad short on time and we didn't want to make the usual vows to increase the number of laps we run a week or decrease the amount of unnecessarily spent dollars, so I decided to decide tomorrow (obviously, I didn't resolve to stop procrastinating).  To be honest, I don't think I have ever made a real New Year's resolution in my life, but there I was the next morning, feeling pretty empty and unsettled because I wasn't starting off my year with a kick ass declaration on how I'm going to improve my life. Then, I remembered that exactly one year ago I had written a letter to the new year of 2011. 

Dear 2011,

    While you're visiting for these next dozen months, we dare you to challenge us, to terrify us. We'll welcome irritation, inspiration, exasperation. We won't let fear paralyze us. We promise to follow our OWN instincts, rather than the instincts of others. We vow to break from what we feel most comfortable with, all for a chance to say to ourselves, "You know, that really wasn't for me after all.." We resolve to always do what we are most afraid of. We will overlook what we cannot love in others. We swear to never tell ourselves our lives are in shambles, when the train has not yet reached the broken track. And most of all we will never overlook a chance to start from scratch, because arrivals and departures aren't the only times to make new resolutions!
          I think that was a pretty damn good resolution! And as it turned out, 2011 was a pretty good year for me- by all means I pray that it's not the best year I'll ever have and I doubt it will be the worst, but it was a pretty decent one. I "found myself" a little more, I learned how to keep my chin up, and I figured out that faking it till you make it actually does kind of work. Remembering where I was exactly a year ago and realizing where I am today is almost inconceivable (totally and embarrassingly cheese balls, I know- but also kinda true). And, it's not because of some quickly forgotten promise I made to myself, it was because I kept making new promises after I forgot the old ones. Usually (I said usually, as in not always), if resolution has left our thoughts it's because it is no longer relevant to our lives. It's time to make a new set of commitments for our new challenges.
         Like I said, I usually don't make real resolutions... but, I guess this year I resolve to constantly resolve. So, yeah, today I made a small resolution- one that I know I won't keep (or probably need to keep) till the end of the year. And, if on February 7th I want to make another change in my life, I'll make a February 7th resolution to do so. The point being, I didn't challenge myself because it's the first of a new year and blah blah blah, but because it's today and any old day is a good enough day to make myself a better me.

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