Thursday, January 14, 2016
Thoughts about thoughts
All the sudden today I realized, I'm going along in life, through all the motions. But that's all, just motions, no movement. I know that's a really strange and seemingly bland realization. But here's the thing, I used to blog, like a lot. And recently I've started reading all my old post and realized.... I was so thoughtful and ardent. Like I really, honestly thought about every small event in my life. I had real and complex thoughts about spider webs, and ocean waves, and love. And somewhere along the way, without even knowing, it all slipped away. All the small but important thoughts don't come now. Now, I think about what I'm going to watch on Netflix now that I've finished Gilmore Girls, or what color I'm going to paint the living room, or what shade of pink bridesmaid dress to pick. Don't get me wrong- all very important thoughts, but not the things I used to day dream about. I'm pretty sure this has to do with being "adulty" and that's just how life is when you're past your mid-twenties (ohmygaa I'm past my mid-twenties....). But sometimes I find myself wanting to feel insatiable and wrung out and uncertain all at the same time again. Because you know what happens when you feel insatiable and wrung out and uncertain?? You realize how nice it is to be satisfied, full, and completely resolute.