Nothing good gets away

Back in 1958, John Steinbeck, author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his teenage son Thom, in which Thom confessed that he had fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan at his boarding school.


Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...



New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa




        Boy oh boy does that man have a way with words. I hear cheesy advice on love all the time (like 'love yourself first' and 'good relationships are hard work') but this is a far cry from that mushy inspirational shit you find on Pinterest. It amazes me at the level of wholehearted support, respect, and admiration Steinbeck has for his teenage son's supposed first love, certainly something you don't come by often in this generation. And with that mental state of complete equally, Steinbeck hacks it out- that undeniably true, hard to gulp, insane reality about love.  "There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had."  .....damn, Steinbeck.




Ps- Men take note: Steinbeck gave his son the best advice when he said 'Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also'. Redundancy isn't always a bad thing : )

(found on Cup of Jo via letters of note)

i carry it in my heart

(via tumblr)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

         It's my absolute favorite love poem by e.e. cummings. I don't care how over used it is or will ever become, it will never stop being my favorite. Happy Valentines darlings!

Moon of my life

(via tumblr)

            Somebody could say this to me every morning for the rest of my life and it would never get old.

Goodbye, First Love

           I'm dying to find a theatre in LA where I can watch this! Goodbye, First Love played at the New York Film Festival at the end of last year, but I haven't heard about any showings in LA ( -____- sometimes I feel like NY gets all the good stuff). It's a french film about a young girl going through the agony and ecstasy of her first love. How appropriate would it be (obviously if you were single) to watch this cuddled up with your cat and a pint of double-chip rocky road ice-cream on Valentines day evening. All joking aside, that sounds like a pretty rad night.

        When I was a kid, sometimes I would take my fingernails and press them into the part of the gums that  were right below my bottom teeth. I did this because as much as it hurt, it also felt good. I guess even as a kid I recognized that there is a certain kind of pain that also causes pleasure. Some people say there is a sort of addicting exhiliriating pain that comes with getting tattoos, I like brushing my teeth really hard. Anyways, the point I'm trying to get to here is that remembering a great love is like pressing your fingernails into your gums. So go ahead and on Valentines day remember that first love (yup that one that never really leaves you). Remember that time you were young and unjaded- that irrational, passionate, all or nothing, can't live without you, heart swelling, heart wrenching, absolutely debilitating first love. And then, eat a tub of ice cream. 

anyone worth a shit...

(via tumblr)

          Key words: anyone worth a shit. There are plenty of fish who think you're a hot mofo with a nice...whatever you have- problem is there are a million other people out there who look exactly like you. Same hot ass. Identical perfect breast. Hell, she even probably has the same little black dress you do... Point is, nobody has the same beautiful brilliant mind that sits inside your perfectly shaped little noggin. Find a man that loves that too.

It all comes down to the card....

          On Valentines day it doesn't matter where you got for dinner or what day you celebrate, in the end it all comes down to the card..... 

Here are a few cute little cards for:

....your dapper man! : )

(via cup of jo)

....your fierce lady!

(via cup of jo)

....and for your "I don't know what we are, but we're definitely something"

(via cup of jo)

On seduction..

(via pinterest)

          Just a little lesson on seduction... It's not just about those cheeky little undergarment numbers, kids.

The truest kind of love...

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

          I posted this video about a year ago, but it's a beautiful story and perfect for our 14 days of love. This true story is the saddest and happiest thing I have ever seen. Though I can't see their real faces, it only takes their endearing voices to imagine how they looked at each other. It is nothing short of beautiful.

So is it such a problem if he's old...

Lianne La Havas from Black Cab Sessions on Vimeo.

           So, this may not be your typical Valentines day love song, but I adore this quirky little number by Lianne La Havas about a love affair with an older man. I didn't know anybody could make having a sugar daddy sound so darling....

14 days of LOVE

(via  pinterest)

          Happy first day of February! Valentines day is looming and love themed foods, parties, gifts, and films will consume everybody's lives for the next two weeks. I'll be joining the bandwagon, as today will be the first of my 14 days of love. But fear not all you stags(!) I will not be limiting myself to that sappy sugary shit you work so hard to avoid during this month of love. There is enough love (and misery) for everyone! : ) In fear of rushing into things too fast, I'll just leave you with this lovely poster.... I hope it's not too soon, but I just need you to know that I'm obsessed with you all! ; )




          Side note: When I was a lass, I was so sure that Valentines' Day was actually ValentiMe's Day that I would have fought to the death to prove it.

Insatiable

(via Wednesday)

          George Burns said "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate." But I say that if you find something you love so much you're willing to look like a complete blundering fool for it, you've already succeeded. Passion, in its insatiable state, is everything.

Beatle lips

(via cup of jo)

          I want to hold your haa-aa-aa-aanmd!  Which Beatle would you lay a wet one on?? I think Ringo Starr has nice lips. Also, I feel as though he's the forgotten Beatle... which naturally makes me like him more. 

Side note: Eleanor Rigby is my favorite Beatles song!

It did happen...

(via lost)



"This Photograph is my proof. There was that afternoon, when things were still good between us, and she embraced me, and we were so happy. It did happen. She did love me. Look see for yourself!'

This is My Proof, Duane Michals, 1974

I love love love Duane Michals! Which is bizarre because I'm not really a photography person. (I think that's mostly because I just don't understand photography enough to actually get it get it.) But, Duane Michals is no mere photographer, he's an amazing poet. He's known for pairing his beautiful black and whites with words to make his art more personal and understandable (and trust, understanding is something I greatly need when it comes to photography). The handwritten text is so intimate and it gives the viewer a totally new perspective of his images. It's kind of like getting to peek inside Duane Michals head. This piece is my current obsession. The photograph itself seems happy-go-luck, but it's textual revelation is mindblowingly heartbreaking. A momentous laps of time is represented by a few understated words. It is beautiful. And unbelievably relatable. Everywhere I look there are pictures just like this one.  

All the happy people...

(via buzzfeed)

    All the happy people ....where do they all come from?

    New York, apparently. (side note: Eleanor Rigby is my all time favorite Beatles song) I just felt the urge to wish all the happy newlyweds one big giant CONGRATS!!! I think it's especially sweet to see the old, wrinkly, and at-the-end-of-the-match couples finally get to walk down the isle/court house steps with their lifetime beau!

I've been eyeing this thought provoking poster for a while now, and this seems like the perfect time to post it...

(via pinterest)

I totally agree.

A few months ago, I posted this video- I can't help but wonder how ecstatic this kid was to hear the news...

Love Etc.

I've been getting really into documentaries lately- probably mostly because of my sister (HI DANA!)- and I've been seeing this trailer floating around a lot. Love Etc. is a doc about love, but not just the mushy stuff you see in every romance summer hit- it's  about all the kinds and stages of love...even the not-so-fluffy stuff.

LOVE ETC. is a witty, poignant and humorous exploration about the universal stages of love, depicted through five real stories over the course of one year in New York City. Young, old, gay, straight – everyone has experienced love – and the joy and frustration that come with it. From teen romance to a decades-long marriage; newlyweds to a recent divorcee, and even a bachelor so frustrated in his search that he chooses to have children without a partner, LOVE ETC. documents the intimate journeys of engaging characters aged 18-89 who reflect the city’s diversity, and takes an honest look at life's most challenging pursuit.

LOVE ETC. began with a concept from Executive Producer Jonathan Tisch, inspired by the day he spent waiting in line, with his fiancée Lizzie, for their marriage license at the City Hall Marriage Bureau. Surrounded by an incredible diversity of couples, they saw that everyone there was united by a common hope and belief in love. This room was a microcosm of the city, and New York City was a microcosm of the world.

It opens in LA on July 15th... you can get all the info here.

Also, speaking of documentaries, Joanna at Cup of Jo made a list of the ten best documentaries (I even read all 255 comments to see what documentaries other recommended! geeeeeek).

She also talks about how she gets together with her friend Scott once a month to watch new documentaries- they call it their documentary club. That's so AWESOME. I love how their club has only two people in it. Whenever I dream of starting all my silly clubs, I always imagine that they need to have at least seven people to count as a real club. I like the idea of only having two, it seems more genuine, doesn't it? Well, I'm off to plan my first documentary club gathering! Have a lovely thursday, cheers!

The Handsome

(via oh,hello friend)

   Let's face it, like baking personalized cookies and ogling over the best seasonal crafts, blogging is mostly a girl thing. That's why I love The Handsome from oh, hello friend! It's a series that features the men behind the women who blog! It's fantastic -and I really like the name The Handsome too!

Flirty texts: 850

(via meg ruth photography)

     I love this so terribly much. 

     Since we're now only two days away from Valentine's Day, I've been trying to stick with the love theme. In my efforts to avoid that feeling you get when you walk into a late night Chinese restaurant in February (the one's that have fabric red roses everywhere you look, shiny cheap hearts taped to every wall surface and swirly sparkly ribbons stapled to the ceiling), I have found this little quirky and real life chart of love. My favorite is the tiny red "Momentary Freak Out" sliver that comes right before the large peach "Back on Track and Feelin' Groovy" bar. And the stats on the bottom are charmingly humorous, my favorite is Miles driven to see each other: 700. This chart is the epitome of what real love is, and no hallmark Valentine's Day card can do it justice like this.

Ps. I know the chart is a little too small to get a clear view, but you can click the link and then click the chart to get a closer view!



Pretty Valentine's Palmiers

(via just food now)

     I recently posted about my favorite cook book I Know How to Cook. So, ok, maybe I chose that book instead of all the rest because it was exploding with great color pallets (yeah. I'm that girl), but truthfully, it was a great choice! Every recipe is sooo simple and the outcome always tastes fancy and delicious! My recent favorite recipe is the delicious Palmiers! These puff pastry desserts taste great with tea and coffee, but the best part is their simplicity. My absolute favorite thing about that cook book is that everything is made from scratch. You only need the most basic ingredients (that you probably already have in your kitchen). These Palmiers only take four ingredients: flour, butter, salt, and sugar. You just mix them together in a fancy way and then roll up the dough in a fancy way and cut the roll into little slices. After all that fancy, the slices look like mangled and droopy, but after you pop them in the oven for a little, they come out looking like hearts (or mustaches)! They are a fantastic Valentine's Day treat! Start off the day right by serving them with coffee to all your loved ones!

Naturally Sweet

     This is THE sweetest Valentine's present of all!!! I know a lot of people aren't big fans of one special day to give fancy gifts and eat expensive dinners- besides, it's those little thoughtful surprises that really pack a punch, anyways. For all the couples who don't celebrate the hallmark season, these endearing fruit stickers are a fantastic way to say, "I still remembered". They're not exactly homemade, but these beauties are downloadable from Twig and Thistle for free.

     Call me greedy, but I think that lovers should treat each other every day the way they do on Valentine's. Wouldn't it be sweet to print these out on a random non-Valentine day and stick them on his or her* breakfast?!?!

*most likely her, let's be honest most him's wouldn't even notice the sticker...or eat fruit for breakfast!!!

The truest love...

(Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.)

  This true story is the saddest and happiest thing I have ever seen. Though I can't see their real faces, it only takes their endearing voices to imagine how they looked at each other. It is nothing short of beautiful.